To get started, you can watch our You Tube video on How to Find Assisted Living.

It is best that you find a local, compassionate, knowledgeable, independent referral agency that specializes in the city or area you are interested in. There are many websites and publications that offer you partial lists but these usually include only homes that advertise or partner with them. You should look for someone who can tell you about ALL your options and help you compare and understand the various pros and cons.

We have found that if you can identify two or three of the largest independent or assisted living communities in the cities of your choice, that is a good start. You can do a search on the Internet for something like “assisted living in [city or region]” then call the establishments and ask for the sales or marketing department.  These people should know the local senior housing referral agencies that operate in their area.  Ask them to recommend an agency whose representative has been in their community recently and who brings families in on tours, who will meet with families in person, and who works with families to help them make good decisions.

You can then call those agencies, tell them what you are doing, and interview them for what you need. After this you should have enough information to choose to work with the one you like best.

Happy Hunting!

It was 3:00 in the afternoon when the call came in.  The caller asked me to meet a police officer at a private residence where I would be introduced to Jim.

It seems that 85-year-old Jim and his wife, 89-year-old Sarah, were well known to the police department. Sarah had advancing dementia and Jim was caring for her in their long-time home.  Sarah enjoyed taking walks in the neighborhood but sometimes she got lost.  That’s when the police would pick her up and give her a ride to the house.  This had been going on for almost two years.

Then, one day, Sarah fell while she was out walking and she couldn’t get up.  When they took her home and talked with Jim, it became apparent that Jim was no longer able to care for Sarah’s needs.  The house had become cluttered, food was spoiling in the kitchen and it looked like neither of them had bathed in a while. Adult Protective Services was called in—again.  They had been called to the house before and tried to encourage Jim to get some help but Jim refused.  This time, they felt it was time for Sarah to move into a safer environment and they called us to help find a new home for her.

Officer Bell introduced me to Jim.  I spent a couple of hours talking with him about his options and finally persuaded him to simply consider taking a look at a couple of senior homes in the area.  I told him he wouldn’t have to make any decisions just yet, but why not at least see what they looked like?  What was the harm in that?  As it turned out, they lived just down the street from an assisted living community that also provided dementia care.  I arranged for a professional caregiver to come to the home to stay with Sarah and took Jim to see the community.

After taking a tour, Jim looked like a kid in a candy store.   He was so excited to find a place where Sarah could be cared for that he wanted to move her right away! He was wrestling with some guilt but he finally admitted that he knew it was getting too hard for him to keep her at home. And he worried about what would happen to her if something happened to him.

I wish you could have seen Jim when he was with Sarah.  They had been married for 60 years and it was clear that he adored her.  They never had any children so his attention was always devoted to her.  Perhaps one of the biggest challenges he faced in coming to his decision was how much he would miss her when she was no longer in the house.

Sarah moved on to the dementia floor of the assisted living community two weeks later.  It’s been several months now, and Jim still goes to have lunch with her every day.  I’ve tried to talk him into moving into the community so he could be closer to her and so he could stop worrying about the house, but he continues to tell me, “They’ll just have to drag me out feet first.”

It took a lot of courage for Jim to face his own fears—about not having Sarah around and about letting her down—but in the end, he knew he made the right decision.  He says he’s sleeping better at night, knowing that Sarah is well cared for and knowing that she’s just down the street so he can visit any time.

Before You Arrive

• Is this independent living, assisted living or retirement community near friends, family, doctors or other needed services?
• Have you driven around the neighborhood?  Are you comfortable here?
• Are there local stores, parks or other place where you can walk?  Sidewalks? Paths?
• Is it near an active community or senior center?
• If interested, check for convenient public bus stops.
• Is this retirement community within your budget?

Things To Observe

• Is this facility visually clean, attractive and functional?
• Are there smells or aromas that are displeasing?
• Is the staff pleasant, respectful and attentive to you and the residents?  Do there seem to be any language issues between staff and residents?  Is the management staff available and involved?
• Are the residents active, engaged, cared for, and happy?  Are activities posted and well-attended?
• Are the apartment and the common areas designed to suit your needs and lifestyle?  Are there safety rails and grab bars installed in bathrooms, halls and other key locations?  If needed, is there enough space for wheelchair maneuverability?
• Is there an emergency alert system and 24-hour staff?
• Is the dining room or service what you expect and like?

Things You Should Ask

• Talk to residents and their visitors about the home and the services that are provided.  Ask them to tell you the advantages and disadvantages of living there.
• Are all licenses current and are there any violations or complaints?
• When talking to the administrator or marketer, ask who on the staff will accept inquiries or complaints from the resident and family or report to family members.
• Have your list of all the services and amenities that you wish for and ask if the senior community provides these.  Ask if there is an extra charge or if it is included. Such as…
  • Meals.  How many and do they accommodate special diets?
  • Housekeeping and linen service
  • Emergency call system
  • Utilities, phone, cable TV
  • Storage
  • Parking or scheduled transportation
  • Guest accommodations
  • Kitchen or kitchenette (ask for a description)
  • Laundry facilities and services
  • Barber or beauty shop
  • Exercise programs.  Gym?  Pool?
  • Pet policy
  • Projected increase in fees.  How often?  How much?
  • Activities, trips, clubs.  Frequency?  Examples?
  • Transportation to shopping or doctors
• Is there an apartment available now or is there a waiting list?

Summarize
Jot down, while it is fresh in your mind, any observations, thoughts and feelings that occurred to you while visiting.  Did you feel at ease?  Was the place inviting?

Last Check
As a final test you may wish to ask about the assisted living community inspection records maintained by the Community Care Division for the California Department of Social Services.  Call your local county CCLD office or (916) 657-2592 for your local number.

Ever dream about writing your memoir but not sure how or where to begin?  Or have you thought about putting your parents’ memories on paper to share their legacy with other family members but just never got around to it? Then let me introduce you to Francine Brevetti.

Francine Brevetti is an author and journalist based in San Francisco.  She has created a wonderful service called LEGEND CRAFTER and specializes in helping people capture their personal or family history before it slips away.

Francine sums it up this way, “Nobody wants to be forgotten. But when we pass away, our memories, the family tradition and culture we come from vanish unless we record and document them.”

I was inspired to capture my mom’s history before she died.  Because of dementia her memory was fading and it was apparent that there would come a time when she might not remember some of the stories from her childhood.  I was always fascinated with how she grew up in a small fishing village in Newfoundland and wound up living in the big city of Los Angeles. I wanted to know more.  More about how life on an island shaped her as a person.  More about how she interacted with her five younger sisters.  More about what they did for fun and games. What I never expected was the gift of knowing, at a deeper level, who my mom really was.

To learn more about how you can turn memories into a treasured memoir and to find out more about Francine’s services or to sign up for her newsletter, visit her website at www.legendcrafter.com. You can also phone her at 415-397-7830.

On this recently aired half-hour show Cheryl Jennings interviewed Dr. Patrick Arbore, Director of the Friendship Line at the Institute on Aging; Patricia McGinnis, Executive Director of CANHR; Kaye Sharbrough, President, Senior Seasons; and Vickie Epstein, Director, Avenidas Village.

If you would like to view this Elder Care show you can connect at:

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=resources/lifestyle_community/community&id=8374674

 
Geographical desirability – Is the care home close enough to be convenient for visits from friends and family?  Is it close to shopping or senior centers that may be good to visit?

Neighborhood desirability – Is this a neighborhood you and your family like and where you feel safe?

Evaluate the care home:
Is the care home visually clean, attractive and functional for your situation?  Are both inside and outside areas inviting and well-kept?
Are the central areas and resident rooms clean and odor free?
Is there an inviting area for visits with friends and family?
Is the staff well-trained, pleasant, respectful and attentive to you and to the residents?  Do there seem to be any language issues between staff and residents?  Is the caregiving and management staff available and involved? 
Are the other residents compatible with your needs? (Acuity level?) Do they look clean, cared for, content?
Are there enjoyable activities planned into the day and week?
Is the home designed to suit your physical needs with safety features in halls, bathrooms, entries?  Is there an emergency alert system?  If needed, is there room for wheelchair maneuverability?
Is the food attractive, aromatic, tasty and nutritious?

Ask:
If the caregiving staff is confident that they can provide the appropriate level of care – light, moderate, heavy – for your needs.
About accommodations for residents’ special needs diets, routines, clothes, and hygiene regimens.
About who on staff will be your primary contact for inquiries or concerns from the family and who will give status reports to the family.
About current availability. 
About monthly costs for the level of care necessary.  Are there “extra charges” for transportation or other services and what are they?
Talk to residents and their visitors (as well as the caregivers and managers) about the home and services.  Ask about the advantages and disadvantages of living there.
Is the care home’s state license posted and current?

Victoria, Marcia’s mother, had been so lonely, depressed, scared and occasionally angry living alone in her home.  Her husband had died and she had some fiscal and family issues.  At first Marcia’s girlfriend moved in to keep Victoria company.  That wasn’t enough.  Then Marcia also moved back in with her mother.  That wasn’t enough.  Victoria still did not like it when the girls were at work or out at night.  She was afraid of intruders.  Her loneliness increased and she became occasionally angry and irrational.

Victoria’s friend, Michael, and Senior Seasons took Victoria to several independent and assisted living communities to show her the activities, good food and good fellowship.  At first she was adamantly opposed.  Then, gradually, she came to see some benefits and eventually we took her to a community that seemed to ‘click’ for her—she befriended some residents and moved in.

When we visited her a few weeks after she moved into the community, she was all smiles and was deep in conversation and giggles with her new friends. She told us she was really enjoying the food and friendship.  But the greatest news of all was getting the note from Marcia, who had been beside herself with worry about her mother.  Now she can relax and enjoy her mother when she visits, which is often, and know that her mother is “happier now…” even when she is not there.

Most people are unaware of this Veteran’s benefit which will pay a monthly tax-free stipend to help support qualifying Veterans and their surviving spouses.  This benefit was established in 1952 and provides a direct, tax-free, monthly pension to help defray the cost of long-term care in assisted living or at-home care.  A married veteran may be eligible for up to $1949, a single veteran $1644, a surviving spouse may be eligible for $1056 a month.

This most important benefit can help many families with Veterans or surviving spouses who need additional money to help care for ailing parents or loved ones. This is a “Pension Benefit” and IS NOT dependent upon service-related injuries for compensation. Aid and Attendance can help pay for care in the home, Nursing Home or Assisted Living facility

In order to qualify for this benefit, the veteran must be 65 years old, must have an honorable discharge, must have served at least 90 days of active duty with at least one day during an official period of conflict, must have a medical necessity requiring care and must meet income criteria.

To learn more about how to claim this benefit you could go to a VA Benefits Counselor, a county Veteran’s Officer or directly to the VA website at: www.vba.va.gov/bln/21/pension/vetpen.htm

You may also call Senior Seasons and we will be happy to put you in contact with a local volunteer who can work with you.

Do these objections sound familiar? Have you heard these from someone you love? Do you need to convince someone that a move may be a good thing? There are very good reasons why a move to a senior community might not only be a good idea but perhaps a great one.

Sure, when we were young we could hardly wait to grow up and move out of our parents’ home, get our own apartment (without roommates), or buy our own house. But at a certain time of life, less may be more. Simpler may be better. And planning for the future is always a good thing.

Leave it behind

For starters, there are the things seniors get to leave behind. Unloading the chores of the house with repairs, painting, yard work, insurance and taxes is a good thing. Some people leave behind the isolation, loneliness or depression of living in a home with lots of memories but little stimulation.

Lighten your load

Moving and downsizing gives one an opportunity to “lighten the load.” It can be a big relief to eliminate the clutter and donate or give treasures and see them enjoyed and incorporated into different lives.  Giving that sewing machine to a daughter who sews, that set of blue dishes to a friend and those tools to a nephew can be a delightful experience.

A better value?

It may seem prohibitively expensive to move into a senior retirement community. But consider budgeting. Notice if the monthly rent includes utilities, water, garbage, (sometimes even cable TV), meals, housekeeping, laundry, entertainment, and usually some transportation. And you get to kiss those property taxes or homeowners insurance goodbye. Sometimes the senior retirement community is a better value than your current home. Compare current and with projected expenditures for the homes you’re considering.

Time and energy for the fun things

A move to a retirement community can offer the independence of “your own place, “ but with 24-hour security and emergency services. Choosing a senior community with a variety of cultural, fun, supportive activities and trips offers a sense of community, a chance to make new friendships, learn new things and rise to new challenges. It may mean moving closer to friends, doctors or family. Since communities offer the freedom from the “daily grind,” (housekeeping, laundry and meals are included in the monthly rent), many seniors they have more time and energy for the fun things in life.